nearing the end of an era
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We spent the month of April trekking around New Zealand.
It was gorgeous, more gorgeous than the pictures I took convey, more than I can put into words.
And it was so fabulously fun- I love these people of mine and having three weeks to just spend time with them exploring a new place is pretty much my very favorite thing.
It was also our last trip as our family of four. The next trip we have on the docket is Japan in the late summer/early fall, and I will do that trip with a baby strapped to my chest. I am still a little bit in shock about that. Happy shock, but still shock.
This New Zealand trip, the whole time, it felt a little bit like we were saying goodbye to an era, to our family of four.
It was a bit surreal, actually. I remember struggling five years ago, before Pi joined our family, to imagine loving anyone as much as we loved Burke. And then I remember those concerns flying out the window of my hospital room the minute we met her. It was also at that minute that we ceased to remember what our life and family were like before her. I love it that we get to do that again, that our hearts, which currently feel full-to-overflowing, are about to grow just to accommodate our love for our new little love.
It’s also a bit surreal that this is actually happening. If you know me, you know that I’ve wanted to adopt since, well, since I can remember. And I still feel a bit overwhelmed with gratitude that the Lord is answering that prayer.
I know we have a little more than a month left as a family of four, and I intend to soak these moments in and smooch my (big) babies as much as I can during that time. But there is also a joyful giving way that is happening as we watch God prepping our family for a New Thing. As bittersweet as the end of this era may be, the dawn of new is peaking over the horizon and we cannot wait for that season to begin.
I remember when I was pregnant with my second, I wasn’t worried at all about loving her. I knew the love would come & that there would always be enough. I only worried that my oldest would feel rejected/upset with me. She was 3 & very attached to me (still is). We had a rough start but found our groove quickly. I think it’s very natural to go through a grieving process before a new baby comes. And just think…this time next year, you won’t be able to imagine life without your 3 little loves! 😉
Dayna, I totally remember being so worried about Burke as well! I just wanted so badly for him to be ok. Though that kid fell into his roll as big brother like a champ- I pretty much worried for nothing.
It’s so funny, this time they aren’t even on my worry radar. I think it’s a combo between them being bigger and easier to communicate with regarding the coming changes and watching just how excited they are to get a baby sister!
And isn’t it funny to think about next year at this time? Wow! So fun! 😉